Friday, October 2, 2015
Secrets
It's been said that the heart is a deep ocean capable of holding secrets unique personal secrets but is it possible? as the cemetery purges it's deaths and the ocean returns his sank ships so the heart can't contain secrets as they poison the very reason of it's existence, as the mind contains thoughts that betrays its own drama so the heart contains a conscience that measures it's own purpose but is it possible to create a lie so true that even the heart it's deceive?...
What's the purpose of a secret? to hide the truth or to hide pleasure? or is it just a vague excuse to not recognize our own capacity to be different? what's the human been? what makes us different from animals? is it our conscience or the power to hide the dark side of our been that yields here I am and you don't know me although you do? I wonder what's a human been without limits?...
Do we contain ourselves for the sake of other or ours? can we live beyond the boundaries of morality or social norms? who we are is not the one that hides oneself face behind the mask made of flesh but the one who see oneself in the mirror and proclaims I know you and you try to trick me but I know you, you can run and hide from others but I know you and the reflection on the mirror no longer is...
Exquisite is the pleasure, exquisite is the cold heart and the tricky mind but only if those weapons don't backfire, how long can I dream last? but only a night, how long can secret be kept? only until chokes, how long can a lie be true? only until hurts... fool, fool, fool... it's better to recognize in silence your deepest pleasure that to scream with actions your fate, because as the storm it's announced by dark clouds so it's the pain announced by secrets and as the fall ends so is the correct mind before the behavior changes...
Sunday, September 27, 2015
I wonder
As I watch a grandma teach her grandson how to read, patiently moving her mouth while he repeats I'm intrigue and I wonder what is love? is there a definition? a form or a book the defines it?
It's 7:50 and a terrible feeling invade me and pray she is ok... is it love learned? or is it born? as I hold the legs of my little dog I watch my kids enjoying Ice cream, can they sense my sight? why this feeling we call love?.
If love it's learned then can it be unlearned? I wonder, what is the source? and why can it moves so many feelings in a second, what is this power that drive us to madness? nothing is logical and the mind loses control and enter a state of nothing.. I wonder.
What is hate and everything that derives from it? and why we hate even for brief period of time? I just don't know yet they exist and one can be as powerful as we decide, the humming of the fridge similar to patience is permanent and yet vulnerable... my fingers stop moving over the keyboard while my mind brakes every speed in existence running thorough the archives of what's done and decisions start to emerge.
Do I have feel guilty? Yes for what I said and did to her but I will forgive myself
Do I feel Angry? No, just worried
Do I feel Sad? Yes for her absence and her pillow trapped her aroma
Do I feel betrayed? No, after long thinking I betrayed myself by pushing her away
Do I feel humiliated? Yes but my love is way beyond bigger than my pride
Can I move on? No definitely not, but I will keep breathing and if She doesn't come back maybe one day I will receive peace and sound sleep because I love.
How do I feel after all? Every moment from the beginning I walked after a little human watching carefully her first steps preventing her falling and lifting her after each one, now I walked behind an adult that ask me to let her fall and I feel powerless, and after every lie I choose to believe that I can be honest with her, after every disappointment I choose to believe that I can make her proud, after every tear I choose to not hurt her again... Because everything good derives from Love and I love purely and I can see the most beautiful woman I ever seen thorough and thorough.
I hope many years of love and teaching are more important than anything else because I have learned from them and I appreciate them and a moment of pain it's worth a life of glory and happiness, I choose to feel pain today because that teaches me how much I love eternally...
Why the human been decides to hate? what is the purpose of delaying happiness? if Love is the center of my existence and the vehicle of my life why stop? I laugh to myself like a mad man, after all I still love so what was the purpose of everything else? I want to love and keep loving because there's nothing that she can do that will extinguish the flare of my love and my life it's been and always will be full of love and then one day when I close my eyes eternally I will do it with a smile because I cried for love, I worried for love, I forgive for love and I will be happy because I gave everything that makes me who I am... LOVE.
It's 7:50 and a terrible feeling invade me and pray she is ok... is it love learned? or is it born? as I hold the legs of my little dog I watch my kids enjoying Ice cream, can they sense my sight? why this feeling we call love?.
If love it's learned then can it be unlearned? I wonder, what is the source? and why can it moves so many feelings in a second, what is this power that drive us to madness? nothing is logical and the mind loses control and enter a state of nothing.. I wonder.
What is hate and everything that derives from it? and why we hate even for brief period of time? I just don't know yet they exist and one can be as powerful as we decide, the humming of the fridge similar to patience is permanent and yet vulnerable... my fingers stop moving over the keyboard while my mind brakes every speed in existence running thorough the archives of what's done and decisions start to emerge.
Do I have feel guilty? Yes for what I said and did to her but I will forgive myself
Do I feel Angry? No, just worried
Do I feel Sad? Yes for her absence and her pillow trapped her aroma
Do I feel betrayed? No, after long thinking I betrayed myself by pushing her away
Do I feel humiliated? Yes but my love is way beyond bigger than my pride
Can I move on? No definitely not, but I will keep breathing and if She doesn't come back maybe one day I will receive peace and sound sleep because I love.
How do I feel after all? Every moment from the beginning I walked after a little human watching carefully her first steps preventing her falling and lifting her after each one, now I walked behind an adult that ask me to let her fall and I feel powerless, and after every lie I choose to believe that I can be honest with her, after every disappointment I choose to believe that I can make her proud, after every tear I choose to not hurt her again... Because everything good derives from Love and I love purely and I can see the most beautiful woman I ever seen thorough and thorough.
I hope many years of love and teaching are more important than anything else because I have learned from them and I appreciate them and a moment of pain it's worth a life of glory and happiness, I choose to feel pain today because that teaches me how much I love eternally...
Why the human been decides to hate? what is the purpose of delaying happiness? if Love is the center of my existence and the vehicle of my life why stop? I laugh to myself like a mad man, after all I still love so what was the purpose of everything else? I want to love and keep loving because there's nothing that she can do that will extinguish the flare of my love and my life it's been and always will be full of love and then one day when I close my eyes eternally I will do it with a smile because I cried for love, I worried for love, I forgive for love and I will be happy because I gave everything that makes me who I am... LOVE.
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